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my philosophy

When I think about my artistic discipline, I can divide it between chaos and order. With intentional pieces, I am coming up with an image from the chaos of my mind. Alternatively, I often sketch as a way to express the certainty I have formed within myself, in a loose, improvisational way. Two sides of the same coin.

I spent my 20s reading voraciously. When I was deeply psychotic, my brother was in a high-school debate club, and he always talked about it in the car. I was so intrigued that when I recovered enough, I pored over postmodernists, early 20th century philosophers, and The Spheres Trilogy by Peter Sloterdijk (my favorite).

In addition to an interest in philosophy, I have had a deep interest in spirituality. I started with Zen in my teenage years, meditating and learning koans. Later it moved to Aleister Crowley and the Chaotic Magicians; learning Kabbalah, and performing manifestations of will.

I see art as the final frontier, much like AI training on its own data. I just have to use my intuition in this vast space in order to develop further. It’s hard work, but quite rewarding.

Some stories about myself

I grew up thinking I was going to be a stand-up comedian. My step-dad paid me $10 to never tell jokes about him on stage. I later thought I was going to be a chef, and worked in many restaurants during my good years.

I was considered for college in 6th grade because of my test scores, but I could not do homework, so I declined! I honestly don’t know what I was attempting all of my years growing up.

I have been in a handful of uncomfortable situations. As I’m writing this, I realize how little I feel comfortable sharing, but in my last building, my best friends were a Vegas whore, a convicted cocaine distributor, a retired heroin dealer, and I had Thanksgiving dinner with an axe murderer. It was better than the group home I lived in, where there was yelling and screaming 24 hours a day, my food was invariably stolen when I stored it, and everybody was set to kill. I was there for a year and a half, and it completely changed my life. Looking forward to a full recovery from that. I’ve been on the run before, from criminals, and I don’t even know if I had cause for concern. It’s just when you meet certain people, you don’t account for the recovery.

I saw a neon green saucer in the sky once, and my timeline got disrupted. I was strapped to a bed in the ER, moved rooms around 10 times, and saw the future in the rooms adjacent. I eventually came into contact with a vast alien intelligence, and was asked to describe life to it. When I was done with my effort, a charcoal God’s eye appeared in the sky. This would not be a great story by itself, as I have a mental illness, but when I started telling people I was abducted, things started happening around me. The night I told five friends, someone in the road, exactly as described by John A. Keel, took my photo at 2am, which is part of the coincidence pattern of abductions…

I asked the universe for money once when I needed some, by way of astral travel and divine connection. Right after, a voice told me to walk to Safeway, and I followed the intuition, and I found $40 right there in the store. I continued to find money in the next 3 months, totaling $270.

Life has some other quality than is assigned by rationality… Some of my paintings are glimpses of the future. It’s too much to keep track of at any one time, but sometimes life unfolds just like a dream to me. I rarely drink, and I don’t do drugs. I just wait for the universe to send me another sign. My life is colored with coincidences. I can’t say if my art has anything to do with it, but I just want people to know what I think. Thank you for your time! I will add any other stories I feel like sharing over time. If it helps me sell my art, it is because I have really struck a deep nerve in the experience of reality. Best of luck to you.